There are only two things I’ve ever wanted out of my life: a family and a home to keep them in. What I didn’t know was that these two things come at a price: a price per pound and a price per square foot.
According to Manitoba Agriculture, the national average in Canada for raising a child is $191,665. In the U.S. the cost to raise a child born in 2010 is $226,920 (higher to account for healthcare costs and interestingly, an additional $10,000 is allotted for food expense). This does not include post-secondary education but does include full-time daycare costs for the first twelve years, an expense we didn’t have to incur the full brunt of. The report also claimed a bulk discount for more than one child but, in our experience, we received no discount for two kids in braces at the same time, school pictures every September for two students, or two hockey players every season. Thank goodness for hand-me-downs because we had one girl and one boy so clothes sharing wasn’t as easy but at least they were born far enough apart that we didn’t need double of the same item.
I`m not sure knowing the full cost would deter people from having a kid. There will always be sacrifices when raising children, regardless of your circumstances. It depends on your personality, priorities, and amount of patience. For me, I gave up earning potential but was present for every milestone and fulfilled one of my deepest desires.
As for the home part, we are slow renovators and take our time to build up supplies and collect unique pieces, keeping a clear vision of the final product but incorporating new ideas when brilliance strikes, making it our own—not unlike our parenting style—slowly making it to the finish line, if there is one. It’s easy to be overly optimistic about the outcome. There are always more issues than you planned on tackling behind the walls, the costs will be higher than anticipated, the job is messy and tiring, and mistakes will be made along the way as lessons are learned.
Anything deemed to have potential means it will need work to get there and moving into a fixer-upper has its drawbacks. This lifestyle is not for everyone. You have to mentally block out the stack of tiles bought in fit of optimism that are so heavy they will never be moved from the corner until they finally get installed. I would like to see a law against selling the pink carpet picked out by the previous owners that clashed with the yellow vinyl floor and 60’s orange carpet that worked like a pedicure when you walked over it in bare feet. A little overenthusiastic, I tore off the harvest green felt wallpaper the week we moved in as well as the rest of the wallpaper in the house but, unfortunately the paper was glued directly to unprimed walls so every wall needed to be...or still needs to be... re-drywalled; on the bright side, we can update the R-value while we’re at it, and you must always look on the bright side to keep from pulling your hair out. Misguided updates over the lifespan of our house left wonky ceramic tiles, forest green paint over grass cloth wallpaper, and a deck railing that prevents a window from opening. We knew there would be a day when we no longer had a bathroom with blue fixtures but I didn’t know it would be nine years later, leaving the pink fixtures in our principal bath for the foreseeable future.
I like watching renovation shows but quietly resent the reveals done in TV time with little acknowledgement of how many professionals were behind the scenes. I stopped reading decorating magazines when one revealed the true cost of its featured bathroom: $40,000. I think an entire university education is more important than a fancy showerhead, I’m sure you’d agree. I also couldn’t see another piece of old-growth hardwood painted over in white so that it resembles the MDF anyone could buy at the store. Those designers are taking the easy way out instead of being creative (and then say that you can always change it back...they have obviously never stripped wood before; it’s a time-consuming and detailed job using dangerous chemicals).
The elbow grease needed for every project is an understatement but eventually we`ll have what we`ve always wanted, and in the meantime, have spent as much time as possible with our kids while they’re still living with us. Part of what makes our home a welcoming place is that it’s lived in, if not a little rough around the edges, and it’s about the people inside, not the curb appeal. Overall, I think we`ve made a good investment in our future.
