What should you know, or have you already learned, about good parenting?
This collection of “C” words suggests some of the many facets involved in raising children.
Compassion- You have to be able to love someone more than you love yourself, and you have to want your children to have more opportunity than you had. It is true that a happy parent makes for a happy child but the opposite is true as well. Fulfilling their needs makes parenting easier. They are not fully formed adults with the capacity to express their feelings and stand up for themselves, so it is your job to get them there and it starts with respect, patience, and empathy.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. Elizabeth Stone
Community- In different ways you may be alone as a parent, feeling overwhelmed by the obstacles you face and, ultimately, being responsible for a child can weigh you down, but we all have a stake in your child and want to see him or her be a productive member of society. There is no lack of information from sources around you such as family, friends, parents you meet at the park, the internet, books, health professionals, and schools. Ask when you need support, a second opinion, or a little break. There are also many agencies ready to help you if serious problems arise, and you must advocate for your child until you find the help that is needed.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Phyllis Diller
Courage- Parenting is not a popularity contest. The more you hear the words, “But everybody else is allowed to...” the more you should stand your ground. However, a willingness to be reasonable, to be creative, and to consider other possibilities until a satisfactory compromise is made will go a long way toward self-assurance (yours and your child’s). At an age-appropriate level, explain why you think this issue is important and let them tell you their point-of-view. You can’t control the world, so be sure to give your child the confidence to make good decisions for themselves. Trends pass but good parenting lasts forever. In addition, peer pressure can creep into your choices and parenting style. Trust that you have considered what is best for your family by setting your own goals and priorities so as not to be caught up in achieving a level of perfection that is uncomfortable, unsustainable, and unobtainable.
A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions. Richard L. Evans
Commitment- It’s a daunting task to have someone be completely dependent on you for many years; you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself—from the prenatal stage on— to help them reach their potential and to one day be independent and self-sufficient. In the end, time passes very quickly and through many small steps, you will see a light at the end of the tunnel, at which time you should congratulate yourself for reaching each milestone with your sanity intact.
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy. Unknown
Caring- Opportunities abound in parenting to show you care for your child: do you know what they are eating, what they are watching, what their interests are, how they feel about school, where they are hanging out and with whom? Care enough to ask questions, listen intently, and learn as much as you can in order to make informed choices, keep communication open, and provide a safe, healthy environment.
Lucky parents who have fine children usually have lucky children who have fine parents. James A. Brewer
Consistency- This may be parenting’s weakest link. The caveat of course is that the line you stand on must be in the right place, which isn’t always obvious. Everything is under constant change and we are all human, so some days can get the better of us— but keep trying. Children thrive in situations where they feel secure and certain of what to expect in their surroundings; from daily routines to ensuring you are competent role model, consistent parenting gives your kids something stable to stand on while they reach out into the wider world.
If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.
Bette Davis
Bette Davis
Common Sense- Accidents are often preventable and you cannot go back in time so be aware, be alert, and be prepared. It is exhausting, but so is regret.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Lane Olinghouse
Childhood- Let your kids be kids as long as they can. They have the rest of their lives to be adults and only fleeting moments of the innocence, the spontaneity, and the wonder of childhood. Let them be curious and expand their horizons but provide guidelines and boundaries. Children cannot be sheltered forever but don’t rush to make them grow up too quickly or let them make choices for themselves that they don’t understand the consequences of.
I am struck by the fact that the more slowly trees grow at first, the sounder they are at the core, and I think that the same is true of human beings. We do not wish to see children precocious, making great strides in their early years like sprouts, producing a soft and perishable timber, but better if they expand slowly at first, as if contending with difficulties, and so are solidified and perfected. Henry David Thorough
Connection- We may not all be touchy-feely people but we are all hard-wired to feel connected to one another. Hugs and kisses are easy when the child is young but you may need to incorporate new ways of showing attention with older children: tuck them into bed, offer a high-five, smile at them when you first see them in the morning or when they come home from school, go for a walk, acknowledge small acts of kindness, play a card game, or throw a ball around. One of the easiest ways to form a bond with someone is through laughter; try something new together, watch a funny movie or read a funny book, visit with family and friends, and be sure to provide lots of downtime.
You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around—and why his parents will always wave back. William B. Tammeus
The rewards will be subtle, and the work is often thankless, but being part of a miracle is priceless.
