Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

I love the a-ha moment while reading a book; that instance when the writer reveals a key piece of the puzzle she was holding back which beseeches me to backtrack through the previous pages searching for what I missed the first time around while acknowledging the writer’s cleverness. However, the more profound a-ha moments that keep me devouring books are when I utter to myself, “Wow, I’m not the only one,” or “What a terrible hardship this family went through,” or “I never knew this is what really happened during that time.”

I know I sometimes have a short-term memory deficit, and my long-term memory could not be depended on in a court of law, but I prefer to call my disposition absent-minded. The story I'm sticking to is that it’s more important who I am, as opposed to what I know (or at least remember), and this has been partly shaped by what I’ve read. Knowing there is a potential learning opportunity waiting to unfold within its pages is why I get so excited about books—what am I going to find out about myself or others that will change the way I look at life—and why I am enthusiastic to see other people reading.

In 1990, the group C&C Music Factory were speaking directly to me when they sang, “Things That Make You Go Hmmmm…” because things make me go hmmmm… all the time, and that same year, Deee-lite released what could be my theme song: “Groove Is In The Heart”. It was the year I graduated from highschool and what I know now about the world around me has increased exponentially since  then and I would bet there hasn’t been one day that I don’t read something that makes me think. That a-ha moment is the highlight of my reading experiences; but where that wisdom usually ends up is in my heart.

I may not be able to recall every tidbit of information I’ve learned but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to know more. I trust writers to be my teachers and it must be a great privilege and an awesome feeling to be able to give someone an a-ha moment.

…maybe that’s why I like to write? (Notice this a-ha moment in the making!)

20 Ways for 20 Years

How to stay married for twenty years…

1.      Know in your heart that you’re right but don’t insist on public acknowledgement.

2.      If you can’t say anything nice, write it down for future reference.

3.      Plan more for the marriage than the wedding.

4.    At one point, you will consider murder, but a slow death is less noticeable and who wants to put him out of his misery anyway?     

5.      It doesn’t work to threaten taking half in the divorce because he may take you up on the offer to have control over more of his income than usual.

6.      Imagine starting all over to train a new husband, or even harder, retrain someone else’s ex-husband.

7.      Holding it all in, carrying grudges, tit-for-tat, keeping score—it’s not healthy. Wipe the slate clean every once in a while.

8.      Count on those pheromones for a strong chemical attraction to help overcome the days when you don’t even want to see his face.

9.      Limit home renovations as much as possible.

10.   Find a partner who makes you laugh out loud because you’re gonna need it.

11.   Have compatible skills, like a business partner: one can fix things while the other knows how to fill out the paperwork.

12.   Unite against the children.

13.   Have a short memory for the bad times and a long memory for the good ones.

14.   Let a spender show you how to enjoy daily life and a let a saver prepare you for the future.

15.   Forget the following five words: All you need is love.

16.   Remember the following five words: patience, tolerance, empathy, humility, earplugs.

17.   If one’s an early riser and the other a night owl, that’s all the better for some alone time.

18.   The same disposition toward social interaction helps because whether you're both social butterflies or homebodies, it’s about being together.

19.   Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. It’s a marathon not a dash. Don’t lower your standards but maybe your expectations. Don’t give up too easily.

20.   Mix together a lot of love, loads of laughter and whatever life has in store, then let simmer and savour for another twenty years, at least.

Peeps and Sheoples

Do you agree to these terms and conditions? BAA!
Please enter your postal code. BAA!
You must enable cookies to view this website. BAA!

Last month, I had resolved to complain less using this blog as my outlet, but it’s so darn easy. And I'll be brief.                

Everybody wants a record of where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. Have a click on the typical privacy statement hidden in the deep folds of the website you’re on. Your computer has already gobbled up the info needed to remind you of the last three items you’ve browsed, what your local store address is, and on many sites, you have to unclick the ‘remember me’ tab to opt-out instead of opting-in (a perpetual pet peeve of mine). And even though I’ve repeatedly unsubscribed to their messages, I will often get a marketing email, just to keep me in the loop, in case the 15 times I’ve asked to be removed from the mailing list was just a typo. If you want to buy something or sign up for their service, prepare to be stalked. Not only will they share your email address with companies they feel you would like, how thoughtful, but first you must acknowledge their 5000-word terms of agreement that says they can collect any data they want, including your ISP to locate your address and your browser history to see what kind of websites you go to. Who needs nosy neighbours when our every move is being monitored by our computer. At least the old busybody next door isn’t selling your purchase history to marketing firms without your implicit consent. I’m not sure if it’s paranoia or common sense to cover my integrated web cam (maybe iTunes just wants to put a face to my name and credit card number?) More often than not, many people freely give personal information away rather than appear rude to the checkout person asking for your postal code before they can proceed or your phone number to record all your purchases in one convenient place. What companies offer in return, if anything, does not seem worth it. Yes, we’ll give you this download for free, you just have to allow us access to your hard drive, or the generous 5% discount you’ll receive on your $15 purchase from Old Navy for providing your email address gives them access to you long after your purchase of clothes that didn’t even hold up one season. Some cards are better than others, but several points cards, all designed to collect data on your purchasing habits, are almost insulting: when I spend a total of $1000 in merchandise over time, I get $10 off my next purchase, which expires in one month; or, for thousands of dollars’ worth of gas, you get a free bottle of windshield wiper fluid. Feeding off our need to feel a part of the club seems to be a strong motivator for our actions and companies have capitalized on it. Contrary to Mitt Romney’s statement: “Corporations are people” and the US Supreme Court’s decision to uphold this notion, this law does not make them your friend. Follow us on Twitter, take our survey, win a contest, Facebook us, stop in for a complimentary BBQ hotdog—no, thank you. If you were on my side, you would give me a discount without signing up for a three-year contract, not make me bend over backwards for a 10% discount on your lucrative mark-up, and stop calling me to say you’re in my neighbourhood cleaning heating ducts and would be happy to fit me in to the appointment schedule. I can’t help but think you may be disingenuous when you call me twice a year and I tell I don’t have a furnace but you don't listen.

Okay, so I had a little more to say about this matter than I thought. But now, I really have to go because I'm the 1,000,000th visitor to this ad at the top of my screen and as you know, opportunities like this don’t come around too often.